The Gnu Song - Flanders & Swann
A year ago last Thursday I was strolling in the zoo
When I met a man who thought he knew the lot
He was laying down the law about the habits of baboons
And the number of quills a porcupine has got
So I asked him "What's that creature there ”
He answered "Oh it's a h-elk"
I might have gone on thinking that was true
If the animal in question hadn’t put that chap to shame
And remarked "I h-ain't a h-elk I'm a g-nu"
“I'm a g-nu
I'm a g-nu
The g-nicest work of g-nature in the zoo
I'm a g-nu
How do you do
You really ought to k-now w-ho’s w-ho "
"I'm a g-nu spelt G-N-U
I'm g-not a camel or a kangaroo
So let me introduce
I'm g-neither man or moose
Oh g-know g-know g-know
I'm a g-nu "
I had taken furnished lodgings down at Rustington-On-Sea
Whence I travelled on to Ashton-Under-Lime it wasactually
And the second night I stayed there I was wakened froma dream
Which I'll tell you all about some other time
Among the hunting trophies on the wall above my bed
Stuffed and mounted was a face I thought I knew
A bison No it's not a bison An ocapi It's unlikely really
Could it be a hartebeest
When I seemed to hear a voice: “I'm a g-nu"
"I'm a g-nu
A g-nother g-nu
I wish I could g-nash my teeth at you
I'm a g-nu
How do you do
You really ought to k-now w-ho's w-ho ”
"I'm a g-nu spelt G-N-U
Call me 'bison' or 'ocapi' and I'll sue
G-nor am I in the least
Like that dreadful hartebeest
Oh g-no g-no g-no
G-know g-know g-know I'm a g-nu
G-know g-know g-know I'm a g-nu
That's very g-nice of you
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